I hope you and your family are safe and well during this uncertain time. Who knew we would still be at home and still trying to navigate our new way of life.
How are you doing?
This stay-at-home order has been emotionally and spiritually challenging for me and sadly, I know many others are struggling with it too. We’ve been uprooted from our routines, our adventures, our relationships, our eating and exercise habits, heck even our showering routines have gone out the window!
Even the most normal activities, like grocery shopping, have been tainted by the coronavirus. What used to be my favorite errand has become a stressful, unnerving, and exhausting experience.
I’ve found that I’m daily facing the dichotomy of trusting the Lord, knowing that His plan is greater than ours and that He will see this through and feels of deep sadness, grief, confusion, and frustration not just for my own pity party, but for humanity.
I have to keep reminding myself that these extreme feelings are OK.
The weekends seem to be the hardest to face. Forty-eight hours of free time is intimidating. I want to do things, but what is there to do? This got to me and I had a few breakdowns.
At first, I started placing the blame on circumstances. Then I got upset with the people closest to me, expecting them to cure it all. Then I pouted. Then I realized I have power over my choices and my life. Although my choices may be limited, I get to decide how I react to COVID-19.
With the help of a counselor and some wise words from friends, I’ve found a way to overcome emotionally trying moments.
- Grace. I have learned to give myself grace during the moments I experience intense feelings. Taking a moment and wallowing in the feels instead of being upset that I’m upset takes me down a few notches. After a quick wallow session, I imagine myself sitting next to Jesus and I share with Him all of my feelings, anxieties, worries, etc.
- Identify. During this prayer time, I try to do some investigating and ask the Lord to help me identify what exactly I’m feeling and if anything triggered it. Is a negative belief about myself being triggered? Am I missing something? Do I have unreasonable expectations for others or myself? What need isn’t being met? When I’ve dug a little deeper most of my anger and sadness have nothing to do with COVID-19, it has simply been an accelerant of things I’ve been wrestling with.
- Action. After some reflection, I see if there is an action I can take that will help right my soul. Maybe some stretches, make a gratitude list, deep breathing, listen to music, call a friend, pray a little more, quiet time, read scripture or something encouraging. A restorative or restful action that can bring some joy into my day as I come off an extreme.
- Plan. I like to have a plan, so I can be triggered by endless free time. For me, having fun ideas or a plan in place for the day or weekend gives me something to look forward to. I try to pick activities that bring me joy and ward off the extreme emotions. Last weekend I made it a non-negotiable to go for a long walk on Saturday morning and that completely changed the trajectory of the weekend for me.
I’m trying to be open to what the Lord has for me right now. There are fewer distractions, a slower pace, and more flexibility.
How can we harness this opportunity to start becoming who we are created to be?
